


Stellar Collision

by nigellecter



Series: Encounter of Two Hearts [1]
Category: Adam (2009), Charlie Countryman (2013)
Genre: First Kiss, First Meetings, M/M, Spacedogs, Vulnerable Nigel, inquisitorial Adam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:38:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4910914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nigellecter/pseuds/nigellecter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first fic ever.. And my first spacedogs.<br/>Go easy on me. This is for the spacedogs week.<br/>Nigel tries to commit suicide. He meets Adam on the bridge. A meeting between two broken men ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stellar Collision

Nigel have had enough of hardships in his life already that all he wanted to do was to end his life. No matter how hard he tried, even when the circumstances were unlikely for him to survive, he did anyway. As if he had meant to belong on this earth. After Gabi left with Charlie to go to the States, having been already divorced, he had been shot in his head. Most people would have died on that spot. It wasn’t an exception when the bullet tore his brain, a through and through shot, he had already lost consciousness before he even hit the ground, but that only got him to be bedridden in a coma for mere two weeks. Apparently, a divine intervention saved him. That’s what the neurologist told him. Even the other doctors and nurses who had taken care of him as he slowly recovered and regained his strength would say that it was not possible and they would not be able to explain what exactly happened. Although he had high intracranial pressure and was constantly in pain, he had emerged yet again from many of his suicide attempts.

 

Apparently, the rope couldn’t hold his muscular and statuesque weight and the structure of his flat couldn’t hold his weight. And whenever he swallowed sleeping pills and guzzle down bottles of whiskey, there was always the one who found him or he would literally throw up every single pills until he vomited his stomach lining out. Maybe it was a serendipity that he didn’t have enough guts to pull the trigger against his own head. For that, he would have the love of his life.

 

It would be his last suicide attempt. Give it all, or he wouldn’t dare to try it again. The descent from the bridge would be easy. All he had to do was to climb the metal ledge and to jump off. The murky and dark water seemed like a void. He couldn’t even gauge how deep the water was in the stark darkness. Only the soft rippling waves had conveyed that there was a body of water underneath, or it felt like a black hole. If his body was broken into pieces or be bloated under water after months of decomposing under water, he didn’t give a shit. All he wanted to do was to die and that didn’t come to him.

 

The night had been serene without many traffic passing through. The day being Friday night, it seemed strange, but he didn’t give a shit. Clear summer night, in his usual dark-washed slim-fitted jeans and a thin black t-shirt, with his handgun tucked behind the waistband of the jeans with a knife and cigarette pack inside the back pocket. _‘Maybe one last fucking smoke before I do the deed.’_ He thinks, taking out the smoke and lighting it. That was as good as the last meal the prisoners would have before they faced the death penalty. He’d already had his. A big, fat, succulent piece of ribeye steak with his favorite garlic herb fries and a vintage, very expensive bottle of whiskey.

 

Adam had taken his astronomical telescope down to the bridge, as his co-workers at the planetarium had told him that today would be the night. The sky was clear and the bridge would be the perfect spot to watch Mars. If he was lucky, he’d see Jupiter as well. And even if he couldn’t. Watching the constellation for hours would be so amazing. It was only thing that broke his usual inveterate and what his asperger’s syndrome made him to rely on; routines. He was a creature of following them frenetically. Mac and cheese in the evenings, he would work on the presentation for the following day for the lecture and when he had an off-day, he’d always come to the bridge or go to the park to observe the night sky. A shooting star falls and Adam’s lips softly curve up in a smile. Today was going to be a good day.

 

He wasn’t particularly good at social interactions, although working as a presenter and tour guide inside the planetarium had significantly helped with his asperger’s. The constant interaction with people had definitely helped him to be less awkward in conversations. He hadn’t seen the older man before. The man had charm to it, a magnetic ability to draw the person in. The expressive and intense orbs, even under the dim light of the streetlight above him. Broad, tall and slightly muscular. The man was nothing like him. The gun tucked over the man’s shirt scares him, but he gently taps the man’s shoulder and speaks. “Are you here to.. observe the night sky?”   

 

Nigel immediately turns around, about to step on the ledge but stopped short, rather abruptly. His stormy eyes penetrating through the man before him. Curly-haired, lean and pale man of in his early thirties, he figures. A flash of menace takes over, but it is subdued rather quickly, too. His first instinct with strangers is to withdraw and he usually acts more violently, but the guy seemed harmless and wanted him to get the fuck away from him. _Just leave me the fuck alone._ “Well, aren’t you a fucking nosy kid, yes, I wanted to look at this fucking night sky, is that a problem, gorgeous?” He smirks in his usual fashion, a gentle tug of the corner of his lips.

 

Adam is slightly taken aback by the man’s swearing and the word _‘gorgeous.’_ “W-well, I just wanted to ask if you’d like to watch it with me, since I bought my telescope, it’d be a nice experience for you to enjoy.” He remarks softly, awkwardly letting go of his hand on the man’s shoulder.

 

Wanting the younger man to leave him alone, his tone is slightly remote, nonchalant. He just wants the younger man to leave him alone, but since the man is already setting up the telescope, he merely watches. Hesitantly parting away from the ledge of the bridge, he sits on the edge of the sidewalk, near where Adam is setting the telescope up.

 

“I have not seen that fucking thing, except in textbooks long time ago.” _And I didn’t even pay half the fucking attention._ He muses, astronomy class was a fucking bitch and that was the class he needed to graduate high school, which he failed.

 

“Who the fuck looks at the stars, why do we need them anyways?” He means to think the words, but they unconsciously slips out. In rather offensive way. _No, I am going to fucking end my life, so whatever, offensive or not. Since when did I fucking care about how I express myself?_

 

Adam isn’t the one to get infuriated easily. He merely smiles and focuses his attention fully on the telescope he’s setting up.

 

“They are what constitutes our universe, uh. Mister... “ He turns his gaze upward to the man only standing a few feet away from him.

 

“I’m Adam, Adam Raki, by the way. I work in a Planetarium, which means I am interested in planets, stars, anything related to the universe, really.”

 

Nigel’s eyes roll, rather tiredly, this fucking guy just won’t leave me alone, might as well as to play along with him before he fucking disappears.

 

“Nigel, Nigel Lecter.” He grumbles the word out, exasperatingly sighing as he leans by the ledge. Adam’s portable armchair begins to creak. “I think one of the fucking legs are broken.”

 

Immediately getting up and looking at one of the legs Nigel had pointed, Adam cautiously looks over at each of the legs, testing them out.

 

“How did you know that? I didn’t even feel it moving.”

 

Adam’s natural instinct is to not trust strangers. As Nigel comes closer, the streetlight above him lights the older man. _Expressive and soulful eyes, high cheekbones, the vulgar pin-up girl tattoo on the neck and messy and long ashen hair. His eyes convey sadness._ He thinks, as he glances indirectly at the man’s face.

 

“Want to look at the stars? The night sky, I mean. It’s really meditative and therapeutic. I started to look at them, because they are never changing. With a lifespan of ten billion years, the stars become supernovas when the stellar explosion happens, oh my god, that briefly outshines an entire galaxy. It radiates as much energy as the Sun or any ordinary star is expected to emit over its entire lifespan. It fades from the view over several weeks or months. And I must be the luckiest one. Come over here and see, it’s really rare to see one.” Adam beckons the taller man with his hand.

 

Reluctantly and unwanting at first, but his feet deceives him as he walks towards the telescope, all he can see through his bare hazel orbs are the vast nothingness with sparkling stars gracing the clear night sky. “I’ve seen the fucking sky a fucking shit loads of times and what is so goddamn special about this one anyways?” His eyebrows frowning as he rolls his eyes, he kneels in front of the telescope to see the view.

 

“Isn’t the view amazing? The galaxy, the universe. It’s such a beautiful place - the stars and sky. I mean… look at them, how can you not love just being alive?” Adam enthusiastically says, even before Nigel looks through the viewfinder.

 

“That’s what? What the fuck did you say about it?”  

 

“Supernova, it can happen in either way, a sudden re-ignition of the nuclear fusion in a degenerate star, something that is not a black hole, or by the gravitational collapse on the core of a massive star. What you see is the expanding shock waves after the explosion.”

 

It is definitely interesting than watching the stars with naked eyes, Nigel had to admit. Perhaps he could relate to the concept, he was a star fading and about to explode. His scars told more stories than his words actually ever did. His still freshly healed scar on his torso told that he had been in a shooting accident.  

 

“Those supernova explosions can trigger the formation of a new star, you know… A previous star dies, a new one forms instead of the old one.” Adam explains, Nigel already had sensed the younger man’s excitement and elation through his voice. Although the man’s eyes gaze far away beyond his eyes, the blue eyes sparkle as the irises bear the moonlight.

 

“Can you show me the fucking moon, want to see if there’s really a fucking rabbit pounding rice in a mortar. One Korean guy told me that and have to fucking confirm that.” His original intention to come to the bridge pushed aside for now, he cocks his head and intently watches Adam.

 

“Yes, this thing is a beauty, the magnification isn’t great, but even with the earth’s turbulent atmosphere, I think the viewing pleasure will be great. Although…” Adam’s words trail off. “It’d be nice to have a refractor, but the high-quality ones are expensive are better for ‘pick up and go’ kind of a guy, like myself.”

 

As Nigel watches Adam angle and set up the aperture and magnification, he can’t help, but to wonder how this guy is a fucking encyclopedia of anything space-related stuff.

 

“How do you fucking know all this, what do you do for work?” A faint hint of smirk graces his lips for the first time, genuinely interested at the socially awkward, shy-looking eccentric man. He had not yet had a single eye contact with Adam since they encountered each other.

 

“When I fucking speak, look at my eyes, why are you evading them?” His voice raises a bit, not mad, but frustrated and slightly annoyed.

 

Adam’s eyes hesitantly look into Nigel’s eyes for the first time, he had gauged the older man with his peripheral vision or as a glance, avoiding eye contact. “I-I’m sorry, I have a condition called Asperger’s syndrome, which makes social interactions a bit awkward. Although I have gotten better with my work as a tour guide and teacher at the planetarium I work in.”

 

At Adam’s words, Nigel sits on the ledge of the sidewalk, close enough to feel Adam’s nervous energy radiating off of him. “I have no fucking idea what the motherfucking Asperger’s is, but sure. I’m not that great at getting along with strangers anyways.”

 

He unconsciously touches the dip of his spine, where his gold-capped handgun would be usually tucked in. He had left it in his flat. Just in case he had the other idea. Perhaps it was meant to meet Adam today, as he had considered options of doing it at his own flat, but that seemed too depressing and bleak. At least if he threw himself off the ledge, then it’d be less messy. Even with his bloated body floating on the surface of the water, he’d be outdoors, free from the stark and barren house, heavy with the scent of whiskey and cigarettes.

 

“You-you are fine, but why do you swear so much? I have never ever heard someone use those words so many times. You’re the first.” Adam’s brows slightly furrow as he hesitantly locks gaze with Nigel’s intense hazel.

 

“None of your fucking business, if I tell you one thing, it has to do with what I do for living.” He nonchalantly remarks, crossing his legs over at his ankle as he briefly glances at Adam, who’s still tweaking with the aperture.

 

“This is frustrating to get it right. Speaking of frustrating, Beth just left me. I thought she was supposed to be… You know, a girlfriend. I really liked her, but one minute, she’s giving me chocolates and soon, she’s gone. Just like that.” Adam’s head hangs forward, his hand fumbling with the lense on his hand.

 

Nigel looks on, a bit of sympathetic expression on his face, as he had quite recently gotten a divorce. “Well, relationships are fucking bitch, aren’t they? Well, you love someone so goddamn much, but when the love isn’t reciprocated, that’s when you fucking lose it. Love makes me somewhat insane if I’m being honest with you.” He tilts his head and touches Adam’s knee.

 

Of course, Nigel knew he wasn’t the only one who was struggling after the failed relationships. His method of getting over the divorce was to self-destruct. He had been in and out of the hospital due to drug overdose, multiple attempts of suicide and alcohol poisoning.

 

Adam had been avoiding people and worked at his workplace like a workaholic. His Asperger’s prevented him from interacting normally with people, but he got along with his co-workers well enough and he was a creature of habit.

 

“Well, finally. I got the telescope to work, do you really want to check out if the rabbits are there?” Adam shyly says out, his voice soft. The early fall breeze blows and Adam is in his too thin summer t-shirt.

 

Nigel takes out a cigarette and lights it, blowing the puff of white smoke as he exhales deep, away from the younger man’s direction. Not intentionally, but the wind seemed to carry it that way.

 

A long sigh escapes as Nigel pulls the sleeves off of his well-worn leather jacket, the leather very pliable and smooth with years of use. “You should’ve brought at least a fucking thin long-sleeve. It’s goddamn October, no matter how hot the afternoon had been, when the night falls, the temperature is gonna drop shit fucking tons.” In his long-sleeve black shirt, he undoes the sleeves and rolls them up, his strong forearm exposing. His expression is a bit withdrawn, almost seems like he’s doing it merely out of pity, but his gesture is more affectionate. Draping the leather jacket over the younger man’s shoulder,

 

“T-thank you, Nigel.” Adam’s voice merely reduced into a whisper, he beckons the taller man to look into the viewfinder. The jacket smells like whiskey, cigarettes and what must be Nigel’s natural scent, musky and heady, strong but very sensual. Adam didn’t like the smell of cigarettes, but it was faint and subtle enough.

 

“Do you see the rabbits on the moon?” Adam’s soft voice resonates through the serene night sky, only few cars have passed by on the bridge.

 

Nigel’s intense eyes gaze into the telescope as he tries to make the shape as he sees the surface of the moon. Like Adam had told him, the image is in a bit of a blur. The craters and surface of the moon is still clear enough for him to make the shape of, the shadows and lighted area looking like an outline of a rabbit and mortar. “Yeah, close enough.”

 

An awkward silence fills the air as Nigel parts from the telescope. Adam’s finger scratches his curls as he grabs onto Nigel’s jacket, running his other hand against the zip of the jacket. “Tell me about your life, you-you don’t have to tell me about what you do for work.” He hesitantly asks the taller man.

 

Nigel’s eyes side glance Adam as his chest rattles with a chuckle.

 

“What the fuck do you wanna know? Well, I’ll start with what I like. I like to drink, whiskey is my fucking poison. I like to ride bike, motorcycle. There’s my fucking badass baby right there, custom-made, cost a fucking fortune. That’s gotta be the most expensive thing I’ve bought. Definitely more than my fucking secondhand car that was so motherfucking small.”

 

He beckons with his chin, parked some distance away. Dark gray body with crimson chrome-plated Ducati Multistrada 1200, made for road trips.

 

“Wanna ride it? It’s dual-seated, There’s a fucking nice road that I always go to when I feel like driving.”

 

Adam hadn’t ridden motorcycle ever. The revving of the engine, the vibration that would carry through his body… All of those seems very foreign and fearful.

 

“I haven’t ridden a motorcycle ever, isn’t it gonna be scary?” His fingers curl up in a fist as his bright blue orbs glance at the bike. He had to admit… It was a pretty machine.

 

“Would my telescope fit on your bike? Perhaps we can move somewhere else and look at the sky.”

 

Lips pulling tight and stretching to cheek to cheek, Nigel’s characteristic smirk plasters on his facade.

 

“I’ll try to go slow, if you hold on tightly, then you should be okay, you can wear my helmet.”

 

He lights another smoke and takes a deep drag. His cheeks hollow as the smoke hangs between his lips. “Why don’t you pack up. I’ll bring the bike over here.”      

 

Sauntering off to his bike and retrieving the helmet from the compartment, Nigel drags the bike towards where Adam is, who is folding up the broken chair and putting inside the duffle bag he had brought.

 

“Why don’t you gimme that fucking thing and wrap the telescope up. And wear the jacket, not just drape it over your shoulder.”

 

Amused with Nigel’s expressive gesture of his arms, he softly smiles and puts his arms through the sleeves and takes the telescope away, retracting the length and putting it inside the separate bag.

 

“Promise me that you’ll go slow, I’m green when it comes to two-wheeled vehicles.”

 

Mounting on the bike and raking his windblown hair, Nigel taps the back seat. “I fucking told you already, I’ll go easy on you.”

 

Carefully getting on and as he is handed Nigel’s helmet, Adam wears it and lifts the visor up. “Um, should I - leave the visor down or up?”

 

Nigel loved that Adam had drastic difference in his personality - he seemed so smart in one thing, while he was awkward and strange in other situations. Why was he feeling so protective of this younger man? If it had been other people asking him, he’d merely shoot an annoyed gaze and tell them do whatever the fuck you want and bonk the helmet, or worse, punch them for asking such a stupid question.

 

He didn’t tolerate moronic behavior from anyone, yet, it was fine with Adam. Turning around, he had put the visor down and wiped it clean with some shampoo. “This way the plastic doesn’t fog up when you breath.” Flashing a soft smirk, he takes both of Adam’s arms and puts them around his tight middle. Through his spine, a bead of sweat falls down from dragging the heavy metal to the location. He can feel the sweat forming around his hairline.

 

Carefully pressing his front to Nigel’s back, Adam laces his hand together around the bigger man’s middle, his cheek brushing against the other man. “Aren’t you gonna be cold? I-I don’t want to make you cold.”

 

Nigel merely scoffs and turns the key on the ignition. “Don’t you ever fucking worry, it’s fine. I tend to run warm. Don’t need the fucking jacket until mid-October.” The strong roar is upon them as Nigel takes off, the machine picking up speed as he accelerates. Adam clenches his eyes shut and furrows his brows at the initial revving and the loud sensation of the engine, but as the bike steadies and Nigel’s deft maneuver easing him, he is able to open his eyes to look at the magnificent view.

 

The dark and clear river running by the side, and the bluff that trails the length of the stream. The road is deserted and barren, the smooth paved road offering the perfect and incomparable night drive. Almost full moon and the gentle early fall breeze upon them, the drive lasts about half an hour to the remote location Nigel always went to when he was depressed. It was not too far away from where he had crashed his bike.

 

“Isn’t this a fucking beauty?” Nigel dismounts and circles around the motorcycle, taking out Adam’s telescope and chair.

 

Adam takes off after Nigel and takes off the helmet, his curls a bit damp with sweat. "Well, that wasn't too bad." He remarks, his legs slightly shaking, but still holding onto the leather seat of the bike as he leans against it. The view is nothing short of spectacular. Without any lights except the moonlight and sparkling stars greeting them, the city's skyscrapers buried further to the distance behind thin veil of clouds.

 

"Tell me what you're thinking, right now." Adam, for all courage he can muster, says out as Nigel secured his bike. His hand ghosting over the taller man's shoulder. And all of a sudden, Nigel grabs Adam's shoulder and hugs him tight, his muscular biceps tightening.

 

"N-Nigel, you're squashing me. Can't breath." Adam whimpers out, feeling like a swatted fly on the desk. Nigel lets him go, a fat tear dropping as all of his pent up emotions creep toward the surface. He's as if mesmerized by Adam's eyes that reflect and sparkle the moonlight and the murky water beneath the cliff.

 

Gradually squeezing his eyes shut as he closes his distance between him and Adam, his eyes waver as they become glassy. _May I kiss you, fuck, I want you to be my clutch._ Adam’s serene blue eyes widen at how close Nigel’s face is to his, but he closes his eyes and holds the taller man’s side, a silent acceptance. His mind fights, wavering between groping Adam’s lips hard, consuming him as his tongue prods inside the other’s mouth to devour. While, the other string of thought leads him to press his full lips softly. He finds the middle ground and his upper lip envelops Adam’s cupid’s bow, while his lower lip presses a soft kiss along the other’s.

 

Adam is confused, but he is as lost as Nigel is. Both had been hurt by their respective relationships and although he could sense the taller man’s ruggedness and violent nature, how stormy and expressive his eyes had been. That vibe he could feel radiating from him, like an aura.

 

"Nigel, this-this is too fast. I want us to be friends first. I'm not against what we did at all... It's just I need time, we both do."

 

Adam's tone is quiet but affectionate, not withdrawing from the man. His hand still holding Nigel's middle, the gaudy dachshund shirt that just looks right on him.

 

"Then let me fucking take you to my home. Just sleep with me and stay, it's all I fucking ask." He takes Adam's hand and looks at the younger man with somewhat of a sorrowful gaze.

 

“I can stay with you until you fall asleep, how about that.” Adam takes a step sway and inquisitively looks at the older man.

 

“Gimme your fucking cell.” Nigel’s eyes close for a briefest time as he sticks out his hand. As he sticks his arm out, the bandages around his upper arm exposes. A bit of blood on them as the sleeve rides up. Adam’s face knits as he sees more blood seep from the wound. He lets that pass as he takes his cell phone from his jeans pocket, pressing the passcode and handing it to Nigel.

 

Adam’s face is noncommittal and when he speaks, he is equivocating in replying. “Sure, you’re going to give me your phone number.” Gently touching the seat of the bike where he had sat, he looks up at Nigel, who is typing the number and hands it back to Adam rather quickly.

 

“You know what, I am not going to follow you to your flat.” Taking his cell phone and looking at the saved contact name, _Nigel, Sagittarius_. “You gave me your zodiac, how nice.” Adam pecks a chaste kiss on Nigel’s cheek.

 

Grabbing Adam’s chin and gently turning towards his direction, Nigel deepens the kiss, not using his tongue to prod inside the younger man’s mouth, but enough for him to mold his full lips tightly against Adam. Adam doesn’t part again, a bit ambiguous in his body gesture. Not pulling away, but not touching Nigel’s body, either.

 

“Why don’t you go home and sleep on it.” Adam says and takes the telescope and the broken chair inside the compartment. “Do whatever you want to do.” Adam leaves Nigel with those words, whatever it fucking means.  

 

As if he is hypnotized, he gets on his bike, looks at his cell for no particular reason and drives and drives, until his legs tremble and his arms ache from gripping the handle too hard. He cannot comprehend what had just happened. Adam had been giving him all kinds of mixed messages and that intrigued and made him very curious. Finally making back at his flat, his hair all wind-chafed and his face having ‘enervated’ written all over it, as soon as he throws himself on the bed, his heavy eyelids close down as he drifts away. The morning about to be unfolded as the sun creeps up.

 

Having not been able to sleep as he rarely had been in recent months, he sleeps for about twelve hours. When he finally rouses from sleep, his eyes still laden with sleep and a bit of dark circle just under his eyes, he thinks about the last night’s events. _Why the fuck didn’t he go through with his plans?_

 

When he is about to bang his head against the headboard of his rumpled bed, his cell rings.

 

[From; Adam, Gemini] I was going to go with you to your house, but I wanted to surprise you. I want you to take me out on a date. Not the spontaneous and unexpected one like last night, but a real one.

 

[From; Adam, Gemini] Is tomorrow at 6pm sound good? Perhaps a nice dinner, a stargazing afterwards. And I need to give you your jacket. 

 

Nigel’s lips curl up in a smirk, the most genuine one he’d ever had since the horrible divorce. He scratches his mussed up hair. He immediately sends the text back to Adam and smiles as he flops down on the mattress, his hands thrown up in the air.  

 

[From; Nigel, Sagittarius] It’s fucking on, gorgeous, see you on that fucking bridge.

 

[From; Nigel, Sagittarius] Perhaps that fucking jacket can be yours.

 

_As I want you to be mine._

  
  
  
  



End file.
